Why do people with mental illness suffer in silence?

The Facts

• Suicide is the 2^nd leading cause of death at ages 10 to 35 years old.
• Suicide is the 4^th leading cause of death at ages 36 to 54 years old.
• Suicide is the 8^th leading cause of death at ages 55 to 64 years old.
• Overall, suicide is the 10^th leading cause of death for all ages.
• There is 1 suicide for every estimated 25 suicide attempts.
• An estimated 285,000 individuals become suicide survivors every year.
• Approximately 130 individuals die by suicide every day.

Yet, we still do not talk about mental health conditions nearly enough.

In fact, we often avoid honest conversations on mental health and judge those who do open up. The world has provided us with an image of who we should be and how we should act. And, when we do not fit into that image, we become the punchline.

It is no secret that there is a stigma on mental health as a whole. There is no doubt that mental health, specifically mental health conditions / mental illnesses, are extremely misunderstood. We all know that mental illness is real, and every single person is vulnerable to experiencing an episode within their lifetime. Yet, we still do not talk about. Instead, we have established a culture of silence. We actually encourage people to suffer in silence every single time we continue the stigma.

What is the stigma?

• When you laughed at your friend who was crying.
• The time you said “you are just being dramatic” when someone expressed their emotions or feelings to you.
• That time you heard about someone self-harming and labeled them “attention-seeking.”
• The day you heard someone passed by suicide and your immediate thought was “they are so selfish” or “how could they do that to their family.”
• Every time you told someone to “just think positive” when they described experiencing depression.
• That time someone opened up to you and you responded, “how are you depressed, you have so much to be grateful for.”
• When you labeled someone, who was struggling as “crazy, psychopath, sociopath, deranged, maniac, unhinged, or manipulative.”

The truth is, we have all been both a victim and a perpetuator of the stigma cycle.

We grew up in a world where our favorite television shows made fun of people who went to therapy, used fat-shaming jokes for a laugh, displayed the individual living with mental illness as violent, and made light of many mental illnesses. And we grew up in a world where the news described the most violent criminals as “mentally disturbed.” In a world where no one ever educated us about mental health. No one talked to us about how to take care of our mental health like they did our physical health.  These inaccuracies, cruel jokes, and ignorance made mental health conditions either a punchline or a death sentence for most of us.  In fact, until we struggle ourselves or we witness a loved one struggle, we often do not get an accurate representation of mental illness.

We grew up in a world that made a culture of suffering in silence the expectation. That culture is no longer acceptable. The silence ends here and now.

Even so, with a rising suicide rate, why are people still struggling in silence?

Because, we have not created a safe space. We have not chosen to educate ourselves and our peers on how to engage in a validating conversation. Because we choose to judge people for their vulnerability instead of celebrating it. And, because we have allowed a culture of silence to be promoted for far too long.

In today’s world, people fear missing school or work because of their mental health. People are afraid to be honest because someone might laugh, and that invalidation is too much for them to handle. Treatment options are unaffordable for many people. There are still insurance plans that do not cover mental health treatment (including medication and therapy). Medication and therapy are deemed for people who are “crazy.” Why would someone feel safe to open up and seek help with the stigma on top of the lack of treatment accessibility?

Do not get me wrong, we have come a long way in mental health awareness. We have made wonderful progress toward removing the stigma and opening conversations. However, we have so much more to go. The journey is not over, until every single person feels safe enough to say, “I am struggling, and I need support.”

What can I do?

• Listen to others.
• Use supportive and validating statements.
• Engage in conversations.
• Remove stigmatized words and phrases from your vocabulary.
• Educate yourself.
• Check in with your loved ones regularly.
• Follow mental health organizations, advocates, and nonprofits on social media to learn.
• Volunteer with mental health nonprofit organizations.
• Amplify voices of mental health advocates.
• Amplify voices of mental health professionals.
• Amplify voices of people who want to share their mental health journey.
• Take care of your own mental health.