Author: Francesca Reicherter

If I told you to describe yourself in 3 words, what would you say? Growing up, I would have said “shy, kind, and lonely.” Only one of the three words were positive. Why? Because elementary school was a time where other kids started teasing each other for all the things that made them “different.” Today, the things that make me different are celebrated by me and so many others, but back then, the criticism, teasing, and judgement broke me down.

In third grade, I had to get eight teeth pulled, because I could not lose my teeth and instead had two rows of teeth. People called me “sabertooth and can opener,” which made me feel like something was wrong with me. It was not anything I could control. I was not doing anything wrong, yet people made me feel so different, like an outsider. I was also very passionate about reading, which made me a “nerd.” Other kids laughed at me and called me names for always having a book in my hand. My love of reading is an important part of my success today, but back then it felt wrong for being interested in escaping through stories.

Why am I telling you this? Because kids can be mean, and other kids can develop insecurities that make them afraid to be who they are. So many of us grow up feeling like we must hide a piece of ourselves in fear of others not understanding or judging us. And so many of us carry these insecurities throughout our lives preventing us from finding pure happiness, fully connecting in our relationships, and being true to ourselves, our goals, and our needs.

I developed a workshop titled, “Learning To Love Yourself” for Elementary Students in grades 3-5 to help them learn to love every piece of who they are despite what their peers or society tells them. We are surrounded by other people’s opinions and social media has influenced the way we perceive friendship, validation, body image, and happiness.  If I could go back in time, I would do anything for someone to have taught me about ways to show kindness and love to myself rather than attack myself for not measuring up to expectations others have or society has created. And I would do anything to have had the tools I needed to cope with the insecurities, because we are all vulnerable to them, but they do not have to overpower our minds if we know how to manage them.

Therefore, this workshop is broken down into five sections, based on my workbook, “You Are Not Alone: The Workbook.” The sections are Affirmations, Choosing To Love Yourself, Emotions, Coping Skills, and an Emotional Wellness Toolbox.

Section 1: Affirmations.

Affirmations are a form of self-talk. Automatic negative thoughts pop into our heads. It is normal. But do they need to be the only voice we hear? No! We can use affirmations to combat those negative thoughts. We can reframe those negative statements:

 I am not smart enough to pass this math test. à I am studying as hard as I can, and I am doing my best. I believe in myself and know I will give it my all. No matter what the outcome is, I am proud of myself and my effort.

I am not a good basketball player. I suck and it is my fault my team lost the game. I let everyone down. à I am training and constantly bettering my skills. I can and will grow my talent. Every game I do better. I know I will score a basket next game.

The section ends with the youth participant working with their adult attendee to develop 3 affirmations they can tell themselves every day. Then, practicing saying them out loud in breakout rooms.

Section 2: Choosing To Love Yourself.

Choosing to love yourself means prioritizing yourself. We are taught that loving and prioritizing ourselves means we are selfish. That is a huge misconception! When you love yourself, you trust yourself, give yourself a break, celebrate yourself, listen to how you feel, say no if you do not feel comfortable, and stand up for yourself. By teaching youth how to love themselves, we are teaching them to be aware of their feelings, acknowledge their achievements, have patience with instead of criticizing themselves, respect and enforce their boundaries, and advocate for their needs.

This section ends with the youth participant working with their adult attendee to identify ways they can show themselves love, why they are proud of themselves, and why they love themselves.

Section 3: Emotions.

Everyone has emotions, in fact we all experience the same emotions in different ways. We all feel happiness, sadness, gratitude, anger, etc. The difference is how we express ourselves. Sometimes, anger can come out in breakdowns or violence. By learning different ways to express our emotions, we can find healthy ways to feel without holding it in or misplacing it in inappropriate situations.

This section offers the youth attendee a space to express different emotions through art, music, and entertainment, while sharing additional ways they can express themselves like verbally, writing, and movement. We may not always be able to find the words to express ourselves, but we still deserve a way to communicate our emotions. This section helps form different ways of communicating that we are not ok!

Section 4: Coping Skills.

Coping skills are the tools we use when we feel overwhelmed by emotions to manage them. As you know, we all have emotions, and we all feel overwhelmed sometimes. That is ok! But there are also things we can do to get through those times. Even if you feel not ok, you do not have to stay feeling that way. What makes you smile? What makes you feel calm inside? What makes you feel strong? This what we explore throughout this section.

This section provides the space for the youth attendee to work with their adult attendee to identify coping skills they can try when they feel various emotions like anger, anxiety, burnout, sadness, overwhelmed, and lonely.

Section 5: Emotional Wellness Toolbox.

What is in your emotional wellness toolbox? This toolbox is a set of tools we can pull from when we need extra support. The toolbox the youth attendee will develop in this presentation includes:

• People you can talk to
• Ways to express your emotions
• Coping skills
• Positive affirmations
• Reasons you love yourself

This section ends with a conversation between the youth attendee and their adult attendee on where they can go and what they can do when life feels tough.

As you can see, each section creates the opportunity for the youth attendee and their trusted adult attendee to engage in open dialogue together to open honest communication about how they are feeling and what they are experiencing.

“Learning to Love Yourself” workshop is available exclusively to upper elementary school students (grades 3-5). All youth registrants must have a trusted adult present, whether it is a parent, guardian, caregiver, adult family member, or another trusted adult in the participant’s life. The intention is to create the space for the youth attendee to share in a safe, vulnerable conversation where they can be supported as well as give the adult a glimpse into what the youth attendee is experiencing and the type of support they may need.

This workshop was developed to offer youth a space to fall in love with who they are and offer support to themselves before the world gives them every reason not to. The takeaways from this workshop are everything I wish I had learned when I was in elementary school.

Register Today: Peer Support Coalition of Florida (peersupportfl.org)

You can learn more about the workshop as well as additional workshops at https://inspiringmygeneration.org/mental-health-workshops/

Who are you? This is a question that I struggled with for years. Trying to distinguish who I was from who I thought I had to be and who people told me I was felt like an impossible task. I mean, how was I supposed to love myself when all the messaging around me told me that I shouldn’t? Everywhere I looked, commercials, entertainment, social media, I saw ads for beauty and weight loss. “If you get this injection or take these pills, you too will be this beautiful.” As a result of the messaging around me beginning at a young age and the lack of conversation around what it means to love and care for yourself, I hated myself, I criticized myself, and I mentally tore myself apart. And unfortunately, this is not just my story, but the story of so many young people around the world.

We are growing up in a world where life has become a comparison game and validation has been attached to strangers online. The pressure to have enough followers on social media has consumed many of us. When I was younger, I remember posting a picture on Instagram then holding my phone in my hand for hours refreshing to see who would like it and more importantly who wouldn’t. I spent hours trying to get the perfect picture just to end up deleting it because I did not get an “appropriate” number of likes. I remember crying for hours in my room telling myself how I am ugly or stupid or not cool enough. I criticized every aspect of myself to rationalize why my posts did not get more likes.

I wish someone told me back then the secret to loving yourself was talking to yourself with love. I wish I knew then what I know now about self-talk. We are constantly talking to ourselves, but not usually with kindness. Take a moment and reflect on the messages you tell yourself. For me, before learning how to reframe my thoughts, every negative thought I could possibly tell myself echoed through my mind like a broken record. No wonder by the time I was in college I began feeling hopeless. If only I had access to a conversation that taught me not only how to talk to myself but also how to cope with the negative thoughts when they come, maybe I would not have ended up hospitalized in a psych ward or spending countless hours falling apart questioning why I was not good enough.

This is why I am beyond grateful to announce that I have created that resource I desperately needed when I was in middle school. “Positive Self-Talk and Coping Skills” was developed specifically for middle school students to teach them how to reframe negative thoughts into positive thoughts and how to cope with negative thoughts and overwhelming emotions. The goal is simple: giving our youth the tools they need to navigate the journey of life.

Based on my workbooks, “You Are Not Alone: The Workbook” and “I AM,” the workshop is broken down into 5 sections: Who Are You; Reframe Self-Talk; Positive Self-Talk; How Do You Feel; and Coping Skills.

Section 1: Who Are You focuses on separating yourself from the labels given to you. We live in a society where everyone is trying to label who they are and labeling everyone around them, which can feel overwhelming and confusing. How does a human being fit into a single box? In this section, we focus on opening the box by removing labels and identifying ourselves as the multifaceted individuals we are through positive adjectives. I am not simply a girl, I am passionate, hardworking, kindhearted, loving, empathetic, strong, and so much more!

Section 2: Reframe Self-Talk focuses on rewording the automatic negative thoughts we experience. We are not failures for making mistakes, we are humans who are learning and growing each and every day. When speaking to friends, we often encourage them and offer support. When speaking to ourselves, we often use criticism, judgement, and punishment. In this section, we focus on becoming friends with ourselves through reframing how we talk to ourselves.

Section 3: Positive Self-Talk focuses on affirmations. When we are feeling down, insecure or overwhelmed, affirmations are a way to offer the emotional support we need to ourselves. These are definite phrases of “I am, I have, I will, I can, I believe, and I deserve.” Affirmations are how we can change the narrative from questioning what is wrong with us to knowing that we are more than enough as we are.

Section 4: How Do You Feel focuses on identifying how you feel. Emotions can be tricky, sometimes we are feeling sad, but we respond out of anger. But how do you change your response if you do not know how you are feeling? In this section, we are practicing connecting our current feelings to their origin to better understand and take a step toward learning how to cope with them!

Section 5: Coping Skills focuses on building a coping skill toolbox to manage overwhelming emotions. When you are feeling overwhelmed, what is one thing that helps you to breathe? When you are exhausted, what helps you get the rest you need? When you feel sad, what is one thing that helps you to smile? This section is all about making the connection between feelings and support so that youth are equipped with the tools they need before they need them.

Each section contains breakout rooms, practice exercises and/or group discussions to keep the audience engaged in building the tools they need. And most importantly, each section creates the opportunity for the youth attendee and their trusted adult attendee to engage in open dialogue together to build honest and supportive communication.

“Positive Self-Talk and Coping Skills” workshop is available exclusively to middle school students (grades 6-8). All youth registrants must have a trusted adult present, whether it is a parent, guardian, caregiver, adult family member, or another trusted adult in the participant’s life. The intention is to create the space for the youth attendee to share in a safe, vulnerable conversation where they can be supported as well as give the adult a glimpse into what the youth attendee is experiencing and the type of support they may need.

This workshop is designed to equip the next generation with all the tools I wish I had when I was their age!

Register Today: Peer Support Coalition of Florida (peersupportfl.org)

You can learn more about the workshop as well as additional workshops at https://inspiringmygeneration.org/mental-health-workshops/